And it doesn’t even need to contain a ton of sugar.
Wait, what?
No, seriously. You can make delicious and nutritious vegan desserts without sugar and that taste GOOD. They look something like this:
Berry & Apple Cobbler with Banana Ice “Cream”
Yes, witchcraft such as this is possible. Expecto Veganum Dessertis!
I was just as embarrassed to write that as you were to read it. Oh well, they can’t all be winners. Moving on…
The best thing about this dessert is that it’s easy to prepare, takes only about 10 minutes to prep and around 40 minutes to bake. Ice cream takes a little longer to set up, but trust me, it’s worth it.
Banana Make Tarzan Scream
4 bananas, cut into approximately 1″ – 1.5″ chunks
1 vanilla bean, split and scraped (or, if you’re not into work, 1-2 tsps of vanilla extract)
Seriously, that’s it. This makes my inner lazy kitty purr with joy. However, you’re going to need a few pieces of equipment to make this work, so before you get all happy, make sure you have the following in your kitchen:
Standard Equipment & Weaponry
One (1) food processor – I like to process this in small batches using my Cuisinart Mini-Prep, as it allows me to control the consistency a bit better, but any size processor is fine, with the regular blade.
One (1) knife for cutting bananas, or, in a pinch, one (1) finger with one (1) opposable thumb (it works the best if they’re on the same hand). You don’t want to be processing whole bananas in your Cuisinart. Especially if someone of the male variety is watching. That’s just mean.
One (1) cookie sheet covered with wax paper, or, if you’re extra schmancy, a Silpat
One (1) freezer <– Vitally important piece of equipment, unless you like banana goo. And if you do, hey, no judgement.
Directions
1. Slice bananas, and arrange artistically, like so:
Pre Goo-ed Bananas
2. Lay bananas out on your waxed cookie sheet (or Silpat). Cover loosely with plastic wrap and store in the freezer until they become dangerous if thrown (about 3-4 hours).
3. After sufficient time has passed, remove from the freezer and let them warm up a tad on the counter (about 10 minutes) before your next step. I know it sounds counterintuitive, but just trust me, ok?
4. Time for the extra frightening part. You’re going to put these little rockets of frozen-death-if-chucked into your food processor and press “on.” It’s going to sound HORRIBLE. I’m warning you now, so you don’t send me angry emails tomorrow. I did not break your food processor. You did not break your food processor. Have you ever made ice cream from scratch? No? Well, it sounds about the same. Turn the food processor off approximately every 90 seconds to scrape down the sides and test the consistency. You’re going to want to work quickly, as the bananas will start to melt very quickly once they’re being whipped up. Drizzle in your vanilla extract (or the scraped insides of your vanilla bean, if you’re extra cool) about halfway through the process.
5. Once you have the consistency of soft serve (in the past, I’ve found this takes about 5-6 rounds of the 90 second pulses), scoop into a container and get it back into the freezer until ready to serve.
6. When ready to serve, let warm on the counter for 2-3 minutes, then scoop like regular ice cream. Voila!
FUN & DELICIOUS MIX-INS
1. Macadamia nuts & cacao nibs (obviously, these should be folded in after you have blended the bananas)
2. Peanut, almond, or pecan butter. Especially pecan butter. Because, oh-my-GOD, it’s PECAN BUTTER.
3. Honey & crushed lavender (Yes, I know honey isn’t vegan, but…well, yeah, I love honey).
4. Maple syrup and then put this puppy in a waffle cone. Of course this dramatically increases your sugar and carb intake and thus negates the superior feeling you get from having a healthy dessert, but it’s fun to be bad every once in awhile.
BADASS BERRY+APPLE COBBLER
Fruit filling:
1 basket (about 6 ounces) blackberries
1 basket (about 6 ounces) raspberries
2 large Fuji or Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, and diced to the size of the berries
2 tbsp stevia or blackstrap molasses (or honey, if you’re okay with going non-vegan)*
Crumbly topping:
1 1/2 cups rolled oats (I use gluten free oats from Trader Joe’s)
1/2 cup chopped nuts (I like pecans, as evidenced by above, but slivered almonds or peanuts taste pretty good too)
2 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1-2 tbsp coconut oil (it has the consistency of lard at room temperature, comes in a jar, and is one of the healthiest oils you can ingest. Plus, dude, it’s coconut. Ummm, YUM).
Preparation:
Preheat your oven to 375°.
Peel, core, and dice your apples to the same size as the berries. Combine all fruit and sweetener (whichever one you chose) into an ovenproof casserole dish. Generally, I use my Le Creuset bakeware that can hold anywhere from 16-20 ounces of food. If you have a Pyrex that’s about 8×8, or a round casserole that’s 9″, that will work.
In another mixing bowl, thoroughly stir together all the crumble ingredients EXCEPT the coconut oil. Now for the fun and slightly messy part. Drop your coconut oil in by the teaspoonful (it’s 3 teaspoons to a tablespoon folks), so it looks like you have little snowballs of coconut goodness sitting on top of your oat mixture. Now get in there with your hands and squish the coconut oil through the oats until it starts to form clumps. If it isn’t clumping up, continue to add teaspoons until you get the right consistency (I’ve never had to use more than 2 tbsp total, and really recommend you don’t try. It’ll end up an oily mess that will probably smell like a Hawaiian Tropic bikini contest). You will have something that looks like this:
Berries before they have been cobbled.
- Crunchy delicious topping!
Press the crumble topping on to the berries, pop in the oven and bake for approximately 35-40 minutes or until brown on top. Remove and let cool for 10 minutes before scooping. Top with your banana ice cream and BOOM. DESSERT.
And remember, THIS is what you get to enjoy:
Someone’s going to be happy with you. Especially you.
So remember boys and girls, follow these instructions, and you too can have a vegan dessert that tastes like this:
Yeah, it’s pretty much like spotting a unicorn frolicking with Lucky the Leprechaun and Tinker Bell on a bed of hundred dollar bills. But I don’t want to oversell this. Try it for yourself.
* A note about stevia, agave nectar, and sweeteners in general: If they are processed and/or come in packets, they have a tendency to suck as badly as sugar. And seriously, just avoid anything that comes in blue, yellow, or pink packets. That shit comes straight from hell. If at all possible, buy pure stevia extract powder from a purveyor like Amazon or Vitamin Shoppe, and READ all the information from the seller carefully. Because a lot of sweeteners (even supposedly “healthful” ones) are still highly refined and processed, this is why I’ve chosen to stick with honey that I get from my local farmers’ market, or blackstrap. You do what’s right for you, your family, and your respective neuroses.
34.052230
-118.243680
Enlarge my kingdom of deliciousness: